PTSD Freedom Key #7: Success- Part I

Success from PTSD is difficult for me to measure. How do I explain it? How do I know what it looks like? How much did I succeed? How long will it last? What do I need to do to keep going on a successful path? I was told to "measure what you treasure".

Growing up I was a very competitive kid. I was taught to win in everything I do. Never give up. Don't look back. Pick yourself up, endure the pain, tough it out, don't cry, keep moving forward. That's easy when there is a beginning and end to the game. The score is kept and there is a winner at the end. Should the ones that didn't win be considered losers forever? Are they now worthless and should we spit on them and ignore them? What could they possibly contribute to society now? Why is there such a negative stigma attached to losing a game? Does that make me a lesser man? Are games the same as life?

I had a fear of failure based on those ideals. I pushed myself to achieve success by beating my opponents into the ground. If I beat them bad enough and remove their desire to continue the fight, then they lose and I win. Is that what life is really about? Can't I look at success in different ways? Why put unrealistic obstacles in my path that depress me when I lose?

In Vietnam, there was a time when body counts determined success. The more we killed the better chance of demoralizing the enemy. How did we verify the body count? By cutting off their right ears and turning them in. How effective was it? It was the only way to keep score. The score wasn't kept by pushing the enemy back and occupying terrain. It wasn't by politics. It wasn't by vote. It wasn't by wishing success. It was by taking action.

How is it determined that you won on the battlefield? Basically, you look around and you're the last man standing. The enemy disengages and leaves the battlefield. Or maybe they are lying dead on the battlefield and we clean up their remains. Is that success? Is that winning? In one sense it is. At the very least, I'm still alive! That is just one kind of success for one set of circumstances.

What about PTSD freedom success? What about success in life, my family, my job, my peace of mind? I think it is different than just keeping score.

Next: Part II

PTSD Freedom