PTSD Freedom Key #5: Trust

When it comes to PTSD Freedom, this is by far the most difficut trait for me to comprehend. In Vietnam I trusted those around me. I didn't have to say it; it was understood. They got my back, I got their's and I could count on them in a fight to the death with the enemy! When I played team sports I learned that each position has a function and each player has a responsibility. They play that postion to the best of their abilities and if they fail they let the entire team down. I trust they will do their job. When I trained for combat I knew each soldier had a responsibility and they would perform at 100%. That's when I know my back is covered. I trusted them.

Unfortunately, as a civilian, I didn't sense that anybody covered my back but me. I felt alone protecting my wife, family and co-workers. I covered the back of others but who covered mine? Who did I trust enough that would understand and then do it? I determined I would do it myself and go it alone. I wouldn't allow anybody into my world or get close enough to me. I shut them down! I loved my family but not others. I chose to distance myself from others because I didn't trust them with my life.

Freedom from PTSD must include trust for others. Recently I was involved in a training program and for the first time since Vietnam I told that person " I trust you"! What a breakthrough that was for me.

I'm starting to put these pieces together. I'm starting to develop friendships with others, I'm letting people in and I'm letting the readers of my story in. I am starting to trust others.

Will they cover my back? I don't know if they need to. What fear am I holding that makes me think I need that? I'm changing my story today.

The bottom line: Begin to trust others again.

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